Turning tides

How far the turning ebb does tie
Our lives of sentimentality
The waters edge turns by and by
And we forget humanity

When I returned home with Senna I couldn't remember a thing. I was amazed that months upon months had gone, without a trace. I did what I do best, put a brave face on it and carried on as normal. Even though there was a niggle within me that wanted to push and push to see if I could find any idea of what went on. Pushing got me nowhere, apart from a deep sense of forbidding, that I shouldn't even questions what was past as it had gone. Fluttered away on the breeze like some lone leaf. Through this all there was one constant in my life. The one thing that has not erased. Andrey. My Siberian Sanctuary. He sat with me for days on end while I thought and though. He held me through the confusion I felt through the turmoil and the shadows of faces I had in my mind. He was the only constant. But I knew that I had also tried to push him away though how I don't know.

There is so much missing so many gaps. I remember Maggie and Scarlett and London, but I do not remember Callum. I remember Andrey and Maggie in their relationship and being happy for them but not where we were when it ended although I know he was with me on a beach and we were having fun. I resign myself to the fact that I will never know the answer to the questions zooming around my head. I close my eyes to forget what I can't remember.

Nick and Senna have offered us a home in Scotland and we have accepted. Donna and Callum are happy together also and are staying on. Andrey, well he has been busy building extra houses for everyone including one for us near the banks of a magical loch.

Last week came the biggest surprise of all. Andrey knows I've had feelings for him for a while. I can't explain and don't remember why we couldn't be together. But since Senna and I returned to our home, it felt finally as if we were free, that I was "allowed" to be with him and express my emotions for him. He makes me laugh, he makes me smile. In a nutshell he's just adorable.

Last week Andrey took me to Siberia, to his home, it was such a magical place, snow covered and desolate, but he had built an ornate little cabin there for himself. We built a snow family out of snow, and then it happened. He proposed. How idyllic, and of course there was no other answer but yes. I have never been do blissfully happy that I would spend eternity in the company of another, or with another family. Senna is already making dresses. Donna is over the moon. All that deciding on is an appropriate date....I do hope that everything runs smoothly for us.